When we say “let your partner influence you,” this doesn’t manifest as “anything you say, dear”.
Instead, it looks like respecting and honoring each other, taking your partner’s feelings and opinions into account, and making your significant other a partner in decision making. Members of a couple who take the other partner’s preferences into account and are willing to compromise and adapt are happiest.
Intimate relationships work better when both partners have and accept influence.
What accepting influence is:
Being open to the ideas and opinions of your partner.
Acknowledging that your partner has a valid point of view.
Implicitly saying, “You are important, and your opinions matter to me even if I don’t agree with you.”
What accepting influence is not:
Complying or going along with your partner in everything.
Forgoing your own opinions, wants, and beliefs in favor of your partner’s.
Agreeing with everything your partner says: “Yes, dear, everything is okay” or “Whatever you want.”
Work on accepting influence by listening with curiosity, staying open and seeking to understand, and looking for ways to say yes, even if that yes is a simple acknowledgment of your partner’s point of view.
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